


heart and light players make great matchmakers

by faedemon



Series: youth becomes you, i swear it [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, Humanstuck, Internalized Homophobia, Introspection, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Matchmaking, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Past Abuse, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Repression, and the davekat is red/pitch vacillating, tags to be added when i write the third chapter, the johnrezi is pitch, the vrisrezi is pale, this is about rose and nepeta watching all the relationships play out and having a hand in them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21573802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faedemon/pseuds/faedemon
Summary: Rose and Nepeta are the knowers of their friend group. Rose knows what's true and Nepeta knows what's felt, and, rather than for nefarious purposes, they both use it to dig into the love lives of their friends. So ensues their painstaking analysis of the way Dave and Karkat dance around each other, Terezi and Vriska's closeness, and whatever the hell is going on between John and Terezi.
Relationships: Dave Strider ♥ Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert ♠ Terezi Pyrope, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde & Nepeta Leijon, Terezi Pyrope ♦ Vriska Serket, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: youth becomes you, i swear it [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549204
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	1. our brothers

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]  


AC: :33 < rose!!  
TT: Yes, Nepeta?  
AC: :33 < boys are quite possibly the dumbest species on earth!!!  
TT: I heartily agree, of course, but what makes you say that?  
AC: :33 < this wont be mews to you im sure but karkat is head over h33ls in love with dave and he just wont say it  
AC: :33 < rose its killing me!!!  
AC: :33 < do you know what its like to have to be the go-to confidant for this tomfoolery????  
TT: Actually, I know exactly what that’s like. You see, as I’m sure is not news to you, Dave is also head-over-heels for your brother, and won’t even admit it to himself.  
TT: As the resident psychiatrist, I am subject to our whole family’s baggage, but Dave’s crush on Karkat is perhaps the worst I must endure, and only in part because he does not recognize the textbook signs of a crush for what it is.  
TT: Nepeta, he is certain he’s accidentally tricked himself into hating Karkat.  
TT: Do you know what that’s like?  
AC: :33 < touche  
AC: :33 < im just frustrated  
AC: :33 < karkitty knows it’s a crush but hes terrified of acting on it since all of his attempts at relationships have ended badly and he really really doesn’t want to screw this one up  
AC: :33 < you remember how things went with john and terezi  
TT: John’s rejection of his advances was rather amusing in the long run, but I understand what you mean.  
TT: Karkat has been trained to expect the worst in relationships, and I don’t blame him for that. I also don’t blame Dave for repressing his feelings for Karkat, or at least refusing to acknowledge them. Our father…  
TT: Derrick was the hardest on Dave out of all of us, and he was very homophobic.  
TT: I’m frustrated too, Nepeta, and not only because I want him to stop whining. I really want him to be happy.  
AC: :33 < yeah  
AC: :33 < this is stressing karkat out so much  
AC: :33 < hes afraid one wrong move will end their friendship for good  
AC: :33 < i want to help him but i don’t know how!  
TT: I can give you one piece of advice on this, at least.  
AC: :33 < ??  
TT: If you’re going to encourage him, don’t tell him to go straight for asking Dave out. That won’t go well for either of them, since Karkat isn’t assertive enough in relationships, and Dave isn’t ready to accept being bisexual.  
TT: Instead, you should start talking to him about relationships in general. I know that’s your expertise, Nepeta, so I think this is probably the best option for you.  
TT: Don’t frame it like you’re teaching him a lesson, but talk to him about what to expect realistically. You should also talk to him about proper communication. That’s why he and Terezi fell apart, wasn’t it?  
AC: :33 < sort of  
AC: :33 < karkat didn’t really know what he wanted out of their relationship at all so that was the root cause of it  
AC: :33 < which they could’ve worked out if karkat had talked to her about it  
AC: :33 < but he didn’t  
TT: That makes sense.  
AC: :33 < what about you then?  
TT: Me?  
AC: :33 < yeah!  
AC: :33 < how are you gonna help dave?  
TT: I’m going to try to help him come to terms with his sexuality. Not directly, of course, he’d never respond to that. Instead I think I’m going to come out to him.  
AC: :33 < what!!  
AC: :33 < but i thought you were out?  
TT: Technically I’ve never “come out” to anyone. I don’t like the principle of it; having to announce yourself never sat well with me, even more so the fact that straightness is seen as a human’s default sexuality.  
TT: And while I haven’t kept it all too close to my chest, I’ve also never talked to Dave about any crushes I’ve had, or romantic prospects in general.  
TT: You know how emotionally obtuse he can be. I’m fairly certain he has no idea I’m a lesbian.  
AC: :33 < wow  
AC: :33 < well good luck  
TT: Thank you. I hope that confronting him with the fact that sexualities apart from heterosexuality do in fact exist and exist in his vicinity will help him understand that he has the option to not be straight, and that having such an option will make accepting himself more accessible.  
TT: Sorry, that was rather verbose.  
AC: :33 < no no i unpurrstand what you mean :33  
AC: :33 < arent your older siblings all lgbt though??  
TT: They are. None of them ever formally came out, however. Dirk simply never saw any issue with his gayness and brought Jake home one day. Hal and Roxy followed his lead.  
TT: I believe me going to Dave directly with my sexuality will have a different effect on him.  
AC: :33 < i s33  
AC: :33 < i hope it works how you want it to!!  
TT: Me too, Nepeta.  
TT: It hurts to see him repress himself so thoroughly. It’s a constant reminder of what Derrick did to him.  
AC: :33 < i know  
AC: :33 < thank god hes out of your life  
TT: Agreed.  
TT: Well, I have things to attend to. It was nice chatting with you, Nepeta.  
AC: :33 < i f33l like that whole conversation was a little heavier than just chatting but you too  
AC: :33 < talk to you soon rose!  
TT: And you.  


tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]  


It’s a few days later, when Dirk, Roxy and Hal have fled the house for some rager Terezi’s sister is throwing, that things are quiet enough for Rose to approach Dave.

None of their three older siblings are particularly loud, but them in combination seem to fill the house with an ambient cacophony, and without them here things are very still. Their mom doesn’t venture upstairs too often, so for all intents and purposes, the floor is Dave and Rose’s entirely.

When she enters his room, all is quiet but for the muted sounds of his work at his various soundboards. He has headphones on, and his head is bobbing to a beat. She stands in the doorway for a moment, just watching him. Every thirty or so seconds he stops moving and begins tapping again; whatever he’s working on must be early in the making. He seems at ease, and perhaps he is, in this moment, but she knows a thousand things dog him. She can see the absentminded droop in his shoulders from all the baggage he carries.

“Dave?” she says, speaking at a normal volume. Their mother has a habit of yelling to get his attention when she sees Dave has his headphones on, assuming he can’t hear, but Rose knows better. Dave wouldn’t dare raise the volume anywhere close to a level that blocks out his situational awareness.

He reaches up to pull his headphones down around his neck, twisting a knob on the board and then turning to her. Nothing in his body is surprised; he’d known she was there, of course. He always does.

“Yeah?”

Now that it’s happening, that it’s here, a weird, unexpected apprehension fills her. This wasn’t supposed to be a real, momentous “coming out.” It’s not supposed to mean anything. It is a means to an end, a way to help Dave accept his own feelings, a tool to serve her purpose.

And yet, she feels anxious. She knows he won’t care, but she’s nervous anyway. It almost makes her laugh, standing there before Dave while he waits for her reply. She’s _nervous_ about something she already knows there’s no need to be nervous about, and doesn’t that say something? How tentative their society is, how tenuous, how strained the relationship between what’s accepted and what’s being integrated into acceptance. That the act of coming out has this inherent, associated anxiety, even without any logical reason.

“I want to tell you something,” she says, and her voice is steady, because it never isn’t. But she still has a churning in her gut, a serpent coiling in on itself over and over, spreading venom sick and hot over her insides.

“Okay.” She can hear the confusion in just that one word. She’s not the type to I-want-to-tell-you; she just tells, even when it isn’t asked for or at all wanted. He moves over to his bed, sits down on the edge, and pats the space next to it.

She takes his invitation, sitting primly on the edge of his bed next to him, smoothing her hands over her skirt.

“What’s up?” he asks her.

She always knows what to say. She’s the one who knows her way around words. Rose is the little writing prodigy of the family, Aunt Rosaline boasts at her book signings, oversharing to her readers about her whip-smart wonder of a niece. Rose knows what to say. She knows words. She knows pacing and dramatic tension and inflection. She _knows_ and somehow—

Somehow her mouth goes dry, here, and she doesn’t quite know the best way to approach the words, “Dave, I’m gay,” because you really can’t be casual about it, not in the way she wants to be. The phrase “I’m gay” has an inherent weight to it, a societal heaviness that she can’t disassociate it from no matter how much she wants to throw it out before them and have it be that simple.

“Rose?” he asks, turning to her fully. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she replies. “I’m fine, it’s just…” She sighs. “This should be so simple, but somehow it’s hard to say.”

“What is it?”

“I’m a lesbian,” Rose says, finally forcing that mouthful from her throat, and she can’t see past his shades but she’s sure he’s just blinking with surprise.

“Oh,” he says. She was right. He didn’t know. “Well, I’m cool with that.” At this, she chuckles lightly.

“Yes, I knew you would be, since all three of our older siblings are some level of not-straight.” She smiles at him, and he grins crookedly back at her.

“Then, why…?”

“I think it was always going to be difficult to say it so directly,” she says, lacing her fingers together. “Coming out is not only acknowledging yourself, but acknowledging that you have to present yourself as who you are for others to either accept or reject. It’s…” she trails off.

“Scary?” he proposes, and it might not be quite the word she’d have picked, but it’s the same sentiment. Dave can be astute, at least on occasion. Her lip quirks up.

“Yes. It’s scary,” she concedes, and he tilts his head, a soft expression on his face. It’s not pity, and it’s not quite understanding—she’d wager he won’t _let_ himself understand it fully—but it’s somewhere in between.

“I’m glad you told me,” he says, and then he hugs her.

Drawing her arms up to return the embrace, she says into his shoulder, “Me too,” and it’s almost hesitant, the way she says it, because she’s surprised at the warmth that spreads in her chest. This really, truly was not supposed to be a significant occasion. It was meant to be strategic, a chess-board move. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything to her.

Folded into his chest, her brother, her rock as much as she is his, it means something.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]  


TT: I told him.  
AC: :33 < howd it go?  
TT: It went well. I knew he’d be fine with it, but knowing that and hearing him say it were two very different things. I’m almost glad I took the time to come out to him, even if it was a means to an end.  
AC: :33 < so now what  
TT: The next logical move would be to start talking to him regularly and acknowledging my gayness. For example, talking to him about a crush I have.  
TT: Regrettably, I do not currently have a crush on anyone.  
AC: :33 < you could just talk about girls you think are attractive  
AC: :33 < oo maybe if you prompt him to talk about girls HE thinks are pretty he’ll slip and be like  
AC: :33 < “yeah well what about dudes rose some dudes are real pretty like how pretty my dumb webcomic is blah blah blah”  
TT: Your impression of his inclination toward tangential blabbering is truly impressive, Nepeta.  
AC: :33 < thank you ;33  
TT: Unfortunately I’m not sure that would work as intended, since he’s bisexual and does in fact like women.  
AC: :33 < you dont know that fur sure  
TT: Maybe, but he was genuinely interested in Terezi when they were together. I don’t believe compulsory heterosexuality is to blame for his waxing poetic about her “sick burns.”  
AC: :33 < haha  
AC: :33 < well im sure youll come up with something!!  
TT: How is Karkat doing, by the way?  
AC: :33 < oh the usual  
AC: :33 < wallowing in his exaggerated misery  
TT: I see.  
AC: :33 < actually it’s kind of sad  
AC: :33 < last night we stayed up late and he starting talking to me really seriously about how awful hes b33n f33ling  
AC: :33 < he likes dave so much it hurts and he doesnt know how to deal with it in a healthy way  
AC: :33 < its eating him up  
AC: :33 < itd probably be fine if he weren’t expecting things to eventually crash and burn but hes so certain that just liking dave will make everything fall apart  
AC: :33 < having a crush isn’t a good thing for him anymore  
AC: :33 < its more like a death sentence  
AC: :33 < i wish i knew what to say to make him understand that it isnt that serious!!  
TT: I’m not sure there’s anything you can say that can do that, Nepeta. He's learned through previous experience that relationships and crushes only end badly, and even though he and Terezi reconciled, it was a long time before they were capable of just being friends. Because he’s so enamored, he probably isn’t emotionally prepared for the possibility of being at odds with Dave for that long.  
TT: I believe all you can really do is be there for him. He won’t learn that things can end differently until he experiences it.  
TT: Karkat is liable to act in the heat of the moment, and that could prove advantageous to him in this endeavor; if he makes a move before Dave does, and Dave responds to it, then he’ll have an opening to unlearn all that fear.  
AC: :33 < i hope so  
AC: :33 < *sigh*  
TT: It’ll work out somehow, I’m sure. For now, all we can do is be there for them.  
AC: :33 < confidants for life!  
TT: Confidants for life.  


tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]  



	2. wind-blown wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the hell is going on with john and terezi?

Rose is lounging on the knit beanbag in the corner of her room, watching with a blank stare as Dave paces her floor, rambling about something Karkat-related. She shakes her head, watching him, smiling vaguely at his elegant idiocy.

“Dave?” she says, breaking through his stream-of-consciousness quasi-poetic blabber.

“Yeah?”

“You really should just tell him how you feel,” she says, and he squawks, cheeks going cherry beneath the lip of his shades.

“Rose, it’s not that simple,” he says gravely, gesticulating to emphasize his point. “If he doesn’t like me back, he’ll shout at me and then ignore me, and it’ll be awful.”

“And if he does?”

“Then he _does_ ,” Dave says, with the same gravity as the worst-case option. Rose furrows her brows, looking at him pityingly.

“Dave, you truly are a piece of work.”

“Thank you, I try.”

“Was that all you came in here for?” she asks, looking him up and down. He’d stormed in in a huff about ten minutes prior, fidgety as all get out, and as soon as Rose set down the book she’d been annotating, he’d been off to the races.

“Oh, uh, no. I wanted to ask if you could help me edit my essay for Noir’s class,” he says sheepishly, clearly having only just remembered. She smiles at him, shaking her head.

“Yes, I can. Can I look at it after dinner, though? I’m in the middle of something.” She gestures to the perfectly visible _nothing_ that keeps her occupied. Dave looks between her and the empty space in front of her a few times before he seems to get it.

“Uh,” he starts, and then Rose cuts him off.

“Get out of my room.”

“Yeah, alright,” he agrees, and beats a hasty retreat. As he goes, Rose pulls out her phone, opening Pesterchum and shaking her head in fond exasperation. Dave, her beloved brother, can be a true, peak dumbass sometimes.

Often.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]  


TT: Nepeta, he’s done it again.  
AC: :33 < what did he do this time??  
TT: Oh, the usual.  
TT: Rambling incessantly about Karkat’s many wonderful qualities, including but not limited to: his very kissable lips, his very holdable hands, and his positively adorable rants.  
TT: I almost regret that he accepts having a crush on a boy now.  
TT: Nepeta, do you think a sane man would call Karkat’s rants “adorable?”  
AC: :33 < wellllll  
AC: :33 < no!  
AC: :33 < i don’t think his rants are awful but they’re definitely not cute, hehe!  
AC: :33 < dave is just very much head over h33ls for him and that’s not his fault.  
TT: That’s highly debatable.  
AC: :33 < on anofur topic… has john talked to mew about terezi at all recently?  
TT: No. Why?  
AC: :33 < well it’s just that i’ve b33n hanging out with her and vriska a lot lately and she’s b33n mentioning him  
AC: :33 < like a lot!! and in kind of a strange way?  
TT: How so?  
AC: :33 < it’s kind of antagonistic actually  
AC: :33 < but also fond? im not totally sure how to describe it  
AC: :33 < i think she likes him?  
TT: Really. Now that’s something.  
AC: :33 < i know right!!  
TT: I was rather certain she and Vriska were an item.  
AC: :33 < i mean sort of but not quite  
AC: :33 < but that’s not the point!!!!! i mentioned it because i want you to talk to john or at least k33p an eye out  
AC: :33 < i want to know if this will go anywhere >:33!!  
TT: Well, I’ll certainly keep watch. I cannot promise I’ll ask him anything, however. He tends to clam up when anyone asks about his feelings, as I’m sure you know.  
AC: :33 < hehe!  
TT: Interesting that you say antagonistic, though. How does that make you think she likes him?  
AC: :33 < i’m not purr  
AC: :33 < i guess it was kind of just… how she was talking about him?  
TT: (Purr?)  
AC: :33 < (sure)  
TT: (Oh.)  
AC: :33 < like she wanted to push him to be better or help him improve or like she really liked who he could be, if he tried hard enough  
AC: :33 < like she wanted to help him get there  
AC: :33 < does that make sense?  
TT: I suppose. But how does that translate to romantic interest to you?  
AC: :33 < i’m not totally sure. part if it is this f33ling i have. it’s kind of the same as how you tell me how you just know things sometimes, get it?  
TT: Yes, I understand. You mean that you have an instinctual sense that they’re interested in each other.  
AC: :33 < yeah! and the other part is that even though she s33med so twisted up about it  
AC: :33 < it was like she was excited to s33 him grow, too. it was pride in a cherishing kind of way  
TT: I see. I understand what you mean now.  
TT: John has never been very forthcoming with how he feels, especially regarding other people. He’s a wonderful listener, and a vital support for our friend group, but he never shares about himself.  
TT: And for all my prying, he’s the one I focus on the least. It’s somehow incredibly easy for him to deflect my attentions, whether actively in conversation, or simply by existing the way he does. When I think about him, the desire to analyze his every move is never the first thing that comes to mind.  
TT: It usually is, for everyone else, except maybe Roxy. Maybe that’s unhealthy, but it’s how I’ve worked for this long.  
TT: As a result of my blindness to him, I don’t think I’ve ever thought very extensively about his crushes, or relationships. I’ve teased Dave endlessly about his crush on Karkat, and I did the same to Jade when she liked him. I’ve poked at Terezi and Vriska enough.  
TT: But not John.  
TT: I wonder if what you’re talking about is something I’ve missed.  
AC: :33 < rose?  
TT: Yes, Nepeta?  
AC: :33 < does it pawther you, thinking that you missed it?  
TT: Well, yes. I pride myself on knowing more than anybody else does. It’s embarrassing to say, but it’s true.  
TT: Now that I think about it, I hardly know anything about John. I mean, I know that he likes his movies and can play piano and is allergic to peanuts. But he is an enigma in more ways than one, and I’m just realizing now that I don’t know very well how his head works.  
TT: It’s like he’s always been simple enough that he didn’t need psychoanalyzing. He’s just John.  
TT: Sigh. I’m saying all this, but it’s not like he’s even done anything to suggest that he reciprocates Terezi’s feelings, muddled as they may be.  
TT: My apologies for flooding your client with purple, Nepeta.  
AC: :33 < no!!! it’s okay!!!  
AC: :33 < it’s pawnestly nice to hear you talk this much. you k33p up your aloof front so much that i get worried sometimes  
AC: :33 < i like to know whats going on in your head  
TT: Oh, Nepeta. What do I do to deserve you?  
AC: :33 < you be my furiend silly!!!!!!  
AC: :33 < anyway  
AC: :33 < you should hang out with john and terezi if you want to scratch this itch  
TT: You know what? I think I will.  
AC: :33 < atta girl!!!!  


tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]  


The fated hang-out takes place about a week later, on a Sunday. Since it’s a school night, it isn’t a sleepover; Rose instead invites them all to hang out for a few hours and bake a pie before releasing them back to the wild.

It’s her, John, Terezi and Vriska—and all Rose’s siblings, technically, since they’re at her house, but they stay out of the way to let her have her own time with friends. Dave nips down once or twice to grab something from the kitchen, but he stays away too, for the most part. She’d invited him to join them, but he waved the offer off, intending to devote his afternoon to his own, solitary pursuits.

Rose invites Vriska as a buffer between John and Terezi, as well as to throw them both off the scent that she might be meddling. Or, throw Terezi off the scent, at least. John probably isn’t even sniffing for it.

It’s an objectively uneventful few hours, at least in terms of romantic fantasy. John does not sweep Terezi off her feet, rose between his teeth, and she doesn’t beat him up, as Rose has been amusedly imagining. No, it’s a fairly normal hang out, Vriska prodding them both, Terezi leaning back to murmur snarky things to Rose that she titters at, John making wild bets with Vriska that are equally unlikely for either of them to win.

There are a few moments that give Rose pause, though. Just moments, just catches of movement from the corner of her eye, just one or two words that hold a different kind of tone than they usually would. If she weren’t looking, if Nepeta hadn’t pointed it out, she probably wouldn’t have noticed. John has that anonymity about him, that wind that seems to set her just off-course, and maybe she’d pick up on all these little signals if it were anyone but him.

But it is, and watching him, watching the short narrowing of his eyes as he looks down at Terezi, watching the twitch of his hand toward her as he dumps flour on her head, Rose wonders just how long her gaze has been sliding over this.

Terezi and Vriska leave first, a unit as they are eternally, and when they do Rose and John settle into their standard positions when they hang out with each other; curled up on the couch together, tucked close, her reading a book and him scrolling through social media on his phone. Occasionally she’ll read a line aloud to him, or he’ll shove his phone in her face to show her a meme. It’s good quality time.

After a little while, she tucks a bookmark into her book, not having really been reading it. She presses her palms against its closed cover, trying to think of what to say. Before she can, John pipes up.

“Something on your mind, Rose?” he asks, tilting his head to look up at her from where he’s mostly leant on her shoulder.

“You could say so,” she replies, still thinking. “John—” she begins to say, then cuts herself off. She was going to ask, _John, what do you think of Terezi,_ as if that would get her anywhere with him. He’s not a person inclined to the kind of deep self-analysis she’s looking for. She purses her lips, trying to parse out what she really needs to ask him.

“What?”

She shifts position so that he’s forced to lift his head, and she looks at him directly. “John, have you ever had a crush on anyone?”

He blinks for a moment, surprised, but he doesn’t blush or start stuttering. She’d kind of expected him to, and kind of didn’t. Most of her knows that he’s not the kind of person to get bashful over the subject, but a good part of her looks at him and reads him as that repressed, easily-flustered nerd type. He’s not, though. He’s just quiet.

“Well… I’m not sure!” he says, clearly really contemplating it. “Is having a crush something you know when you do?”

“I think so, yes.”

“Then probably not.” He furrows his brow, looking down. “Although sometimes I do have feelings about people that aren’t the same kind of friendship I’m used to. It’s not how people tend to describe love, so I don’t think it’s that, but I don’t really know.”

“Oh?” she asks, trying to draw out more. He either ignores this or doesn’t get the hint. Somehow, Rose is inclined to believe the former before the latter.

“Have you ever had a crush, Rose?” he asks.

“I had a crush on Jade when we were much younger,” she says primly, and he grins wide.

“Wow, really? That’s so cute!” His smile is wide and cheesy and childish, and it’s so _John_ that he doesn’t tease her about it. Just smiles, just breezes warm and wonderful through big and small revelations.

He’s an enigma, really.

When he leaves, Rose goes upstairs to find her phone lit up with a notification in olive green.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]  


AC: :33 < so how did it go??!! did you learn anything?  
TT: I did, actually.  
TT: I had Vriska over, too, as a middleman so that Terezi wouldn’t notice what I was looking for. I believe that endeavor was successful.  
TT: I didn’t particularly see anything from Terezi that was interesting, but to be fair, I was watching John much more closely. And, I believe, you told me she was talking about him rather than doing anything around him?  
AC: :33 < yeah :33  
TT: So it tracks that I wouldn’t have noticed anything. She can be subtle when she wants to be, so I definitely don’t discredit you.  
TT: As for John, I did see a few little things that piqued my interest. It’s the conversation we had after Vriska and Terezi left that was truly illuminating, however.  
TT: I asked John if he’s ever had a crush on anyone.  
AC: :33 < so forward!!  
TT: Yes, I’m truly the bravest of us.  
TT: Anyway, he said something that was really odd. It made me think of the way you described Terezi liking John.  
TT: He said he’s never had a crush on anyone in the traditional sense, but that he’s had feelings about people that aren’t strictly friendship. Normally I’d wave it off as admiration or enmity or something similar, but since this has been on my mind, it rather seems to fit.  
TT: And John is a sharper person than most of us give him credit for. I don’t disbelieve he knew what I was fishing for.  
TT: I’m not sure he himself understands it, however.  
AC: :33 < do any of us unpurrstand it though?  
AC: :33 < i mean i know in my heart that they’re into each other but that doesnt mean i understand in what way  
AC: :33 < ive never felt anything like that befur  
TT: I suppose so. But I’ll bet John is the closest to it out of any of us.  
AC: :33 < maybe!  
TT: Maybe?  
AC: :33 < there are others that im getting hints of f33ling from  
AC: :33 < nothing significant just yet, but the s33ds are there  
TT: Hm. You’ll have to keep me updated on that.  
AC: :33 < sure  
AC: :33 < so i guess we’ll have to wait and s33 if anything happens betw33n them in the meantime!  
TT: I suppose we shall.  
AC: :33 < ahh mom is calling me  
AC: :33 < ill talk to you in a bit rose!!!!  
TT: Soon enough, Nepeta.  


arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]  


It’s nearly June when they have the sleepover, with not all of their friends but many of them, eight kids piled into the Vantas-Leijon’s basement. The sleepover where Vriska gets naked and Dave and Karkat finally kiss, a black-red something. The sleepover where a lot of things change in completely casual ways, like it’s meant to be.

It’s during this sleepover, too, that John and Terezi fall into something, and it’s not as clear-cut as Dave and Karkat are. And that’s saying something, because they’re not clear-cut at all, they’re some strange mix of the antagonism Nepeta can’t name and the cherry red romance everybody already knows.

John and Terezi don’t make out in front of everyone the way Karkat and Dave do, but their togetherness is only slightly less subtle. The hickeys Terezi gave him in the closet during seven minutes in heaven were part of it. The way he’d given in, let go of the restraint he’d been holding himself with, and went after Terezi in the water of the lake was another.

And most of it was what Rose saw in his eyes, spades untethered, a release. A letting go. A loss of tension, of rigidity, because John Egbert had been worrying-worrying away at his lip for weeks, and as he grabbed Terezi by the waist and let her scratch him up, that red tooth mark finally began to fade.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]  


TT: You were right, of course.  
AC: :33 < we both kinda paw it coming :33  
TT: Perhaps. But you were the one who clued me in. Had you not, I would’ve lived in blissful ignorance right up until John came out of your basement closet with a purple neck.  
AC: :33 < hehe!  
AC: :33 < id like to think you wouldve s33n it with or without my help  
AC: :33 < you’re very astute rose  
TT: That may be so, but I told you, didn’t I? John has this veil over him that I can’t parse unless I really focus. I was, and still am, content to let it alone. It’s almost a compulsion. I must let sleeping dogs lie, and all that.  
TT: I wouldn’t have seen it, Nepeta. But you did.  
TT: I’m almost jealous.  
AC: :33 < i saw it yeah  
AC: :33 < but i shared it with you! not anyone else  
AC: :33 < because i knew youd get it  
AC: :33 < youd be able to make sense of it  
TT: Hah. I suppose so.  
TT: You know that I adore you, Nepeta.  
AC: :33 < *blushes*  
TT: Alongside my three partners in crime, I do believe that you’re my best friend.  
AC: :33 < and next to eq you’re mine!  
TT: Thank you, Nepeta.  
AC: :33 < of course  
AC: :33 < :)  


arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked it leave a comment!!! i really kind of love this chapter tbh. the interpretation of kismessistude is heavily inspired by Unda's writing in Dayvhe's Broken Diamond Club (a stellar fanfiction that i kind of dropped off in reading a while ago, and which i intend to reread soon).
> 
> pitch johnrezi is GOOD and u can't change my mind

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, if you did! if you liked it, be sure to read the other fics in this series. they're a labor of love and i'd LOVE if you took a gander at them!!


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